Paradox of Beauty
I knew immediately something was off...
She was the tall, pretty blonde that men were naturally drawn to and women envied. She had long legs and big boobs with a swimmers body – lithe and lean.
She was a charming creature full of deep-south southern charm reminiscent of a bygone era. A perplexing mix of the propriety of a genteel lady and the vim of a strong southern girl.
Within her she carried the heart of a nurturer, the soul of a saint, and the spirit of a survivor.
Contradicting the stereotypes, she had the mind of a lawyer, sharp, critical, analytical, calculating, curious, witty, and extremely intelligent.
From her mouth flowed eloquence and education, an eclectic collection of knowledge to fit any company. Yet her tongue could cut you down to size in an instant, sending you reeling to the most scorching recesses of hell.
Her perfection was tempered with an unfathomable lack of grace, leaving her in constant confrontation with inanimate objects. In short, she was a natural klutz, and a magnet for the stranger ills of life. Miss-step and miscalculation gained her an impressive collection of bumps, bruises, and breaks, along with the uncanny ability to attract nearly every viral bug in a tri-state area. This trait never slowed her down. She continued to face life full throttle.
She had it all - Beauty, brains, strength of mind and character, all combined with the endearing quality to unwittingly be in near-constant peril of danger.
So when I say “She walked into the room and no one noticed,” I immediately knew something was wrong. Either I was dreaming, or had somehow been unknowingly thrust into an alternate universe.
I'm betting on the alternate universe.